Monday madness #4

I'd give anything to hear a barbershop quartet consisting of Bob Dylan, Lou Reed, Johnny Rotten, and Tom Waits.

News from outside

In addition to books, I find the occasional newspaper in the room in my dreams. The words, however, are blended in such a way that provides a glimpse into the events of the day but obscures what has actually happened. Again, entertainment when I have nothing better to dream.

A dictionary in the room of dreams

I mentioned that the room in my dreams was home to many books. One of the most interesting of these is a dictionary. It appears normal enough from the outside, but upon opening it one discovers its insane brilliance. It translates entire phrases from English into random language after random language, finally returning to English in much worse condition than what one started with. I can think of no practical use for such a dictionary, but it provides entertainment when I have nothing better to dream.

Sp(eed )reading the news #4

When it comes to the Gulf of Mexico, Defense Secretary Robert Gates wants the military to triple melanoma risk. The Obama administration released a social-networking flotilla in the eurozone. Many of his 43 predecessors twisted themselves into knots and in the end, they all died and went to heaven. Navy commandos confirmed late Thursday they are engaged and expecting Wesley Snipes, Sylvester Stallone, and Annie Leibovitz. Gays and lesbians serving openly in the hurricane-prone waters of the Atlantic see the Mona Lisa. Property owners, with the right mixture of sunshine and rain, will fall ill and almost certainly die.

U Are (My Life Paper)

"Yo Ho (A Pirate's Life for Me)," as translated by Google from English to Belarusian to Indonesian to Persian to Swedish to Urdu and back to English:

U Are (My Life Paper)

Do U Do U, pirates are my life.
We robbery, plunder, we rifle and loot us,
P., to take, O are.
We kidnap and murder, and do not care.
I drink, the UK, maybe.

Do U Do U, pirates are my life.
We, we steal, we can steal and bags
BC, I, O to him.
Looting and perspective, and even block
P., to take, O are.

Do U Do U, pirates are my life.
Our clear signs: swollen, and fire
P., to take, O are.
We burned the city, we fear,
P., to take, O are.

We residues, waste, ola, and criminals
P., to take, O are.
Satan and black sheep, we, too bad eggs
P., to take, O are.

Do U Do U, pirates are my life.
We are beggars and years, cads never fit,
P., to take, O are.
Yes, but we love our mother and father,
P., to take, O are.

Bloody pudding

Time for another Tuesday taste bud tangler: bloody pudding. The great tastes of blood pudding and bloody mary, together at last.

Ingredients

1 quart pig's blood
1 pound suet
1 quart milk
1 cup cooked barley
1 cup dry rolled oats
8 ounces bread crumbs
1 cup vodka
3 cups tomato juice
Tabasco sauce to taste
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
4 ounces lemon juice
Salt and pepper to taste
1 stalk celery (optional)
1 sprig of mint (optional)

Directions

Mix all ingredients except vodka together in a bowl, then pour into a Dutch oven and bring to a boil. Remove from heat and add vodka. Pour into bowls and chill until firm.
Garnish with a sprig of mint and celery, if desired.